June 14, 2018

Motherhood Parables: Darkness & Light

I was chatting with my son last night, actually; and he was saying he couldn’t sleep because he felt yucky inside. Well, this the the "yucky" that is more sad, scared, and emotionally-based than your average sour stomach. So we started talking about what he was scared of: the dark? something he'd heard or read or talked about with someone? etc.

As we discussed, I stopped and asked him a simple question:
What makes darkness go away?

His answer was simple: Light


And I went on to explain that we can try to run away from darkness and ignore it--hide from it; but does that make it go away? NO.

I mentioned that when I get scared I first try to close my eyes to ignore the darkness, but frequently I need to also say a prayer to ask for the feeling to go away. Then I also try to sing a nice primary song or something that invites a calm, happy, peaceful feeling in my heart. By actively putting into my head and heart good, I am better able to dispel darkness.

We can try all we want to wish things away, but life takes effort.
It takes FAITH---which is action based in hope.
HOPE--the positive anticipation that good results await.

I then explained that why the scriptures are so great. They are "light and truth." God is light and his truth bring light to our hearts and minds--our souls. As we fill our cups at his feet and read his word, listen to uplifting music and spend time in his beautiful creations--filled with his love, power and glory--we better find Him and his truth. That truth and love strengthens us. It lets his power and peace fill our hearts and overflow through grace. His grace is what strengthens us and dispels the darkness.

In college I came across a fantastically puzzling verse that took me awhile pondering to figure out.

2 Nephi 10:25

  • Book of Mormon
Wherefore, may God raise you from death by the power of the resurrection, and also from everlasting death by the power of the atonement, that ye may be received into the eternal kingdom of God, that ye may praise him through grace divine.


Praise him through grace? But isn't grace what He offers us? How can we praise God with something that isn't ours to give? I can't give him grace? What does that even mean?!

ButI came to realize, during that difficult semester of my life that as we trust in him and turn those "yucky" feelings and that darkness over to him, he can help us feel His grace, and peace, and power. It's that process--of using/utilising--his atonement that allows us to say "tahnk you" to him. It's a thank you not merely muttered in a rote prayer, or spoken quickly without thought. It's is the faith-filled action of true repentance and a change of heart that literally ooze a tangible "thank you!"

I tell my children all the time not just to say "sorry" to siblings when they haven't been nice, but to "show them you're sorry." And that frequently  follows with a hug, or them taking time to retrieve a blanket--something they know matters and is loved--to give to the wounded sibling. :)

When we show our love for the Lord by actively--faithfully--applying his atonement to not only get rid of sin and poor choices, but also fears and worries; then will we feel his grace. His power will fill us more deeply and richly with light, life and meaning. The light will dispel any darkness--in our minds, hearts, soul!

After discussing that, I was able to share a few of my favorite scriptures and the stories behind why they were my favorite, and how they added light to my heart and minds at times I needed it most.

May you always seek the light and dispel any darkness that comes your way. Remember this powerful promise:

2 Timothy 1:7

  • New Testament
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. 



Here are some great scriptures about light and truth
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D&C 93:39

  • Doctrine and Covenants
And that wicked one cometh and taketh away light and truth, through disobedience, from the children of men, and because of the tradition of their fathers. 

D&C 93:42

  • Doctrine and Covenants
You have not taught your children light and truth, according to the commandments; and that wicked one hath power, as yet, over you, and this is the cause of your affliction. 

D&C 93:36

  • Doctrine and Covenants
The glory of God is intelligence, or, in other words, light and truth

D&C 93:37

  • Doctrine and Covenants
Light and truth forsake that evil one. 

D&C 93:40

  • Doctrine and Covenants
But I have commanded you to bring up your children in light and truth

Motherhood Parables: Orientation and Limitations

The other day my husband came home and was telling me about a culture/group of people that don't use the words "left and right." For example, they would say things like "my north leg hurts," or "put your east hand in the air"...depending on how you were standing during that conversation (which could prove rough in a phone conversation!). Nevertheless, the result of this so-called "limitation" was that their culture, as a whole, was extremely well-oriented.

Now, I don't know about you, but I've seen a lot of people who don't know their east from their west...not even when looking at a compass! I don't feel that is a focus for most people. But I remember my very first time being exposed to the notion of N-E-S-W ("never eat shredded wheat"). It was actually at school, in second grade. I was in Alaska and we were surrounded by mountains in our beautiful valley I grew up in. My teacher explain which way was north. And from that day on, whenever I thought about which direction I was, I remembered sitting in that classroom and I would place myself in my town, relative to the direction of where I was sitting in my classroom and which mountain I was facing--and it always helped me find north.

Later, when I got to college in a completely new state, I found myself again surrounded by mountains, but only on one side--East. So for four years I could easily orient myself whereever I was, not only in that town, but for an hours drive both north or south of that town also (since the mountains spread across half of the state).

Orientation has since been something that is a part of me. Something that grounds me in my understanding of my environment. I didn't necessarily know this then, but reflecting back, I can see that is was something I valued for some reason.

Fast forward to 2012--my first child was two.I remember thinking yet again about orientation. I wanted my child to know his numbers and letters and left and right, but also his orientation. I made to sure to focus on the sun and that it rises in the east and sets in the west; and when high up in the sky right above his head it was probably time for lunch. He knew this fact of nature. And from that time on I started questioning why we didn't pay more attention to the sun and the natural rhythm of things (God's clock, persay). Why was the moon no longer the standard for a "moon-th" (month)--as in times of old.

-------
Here's the poem I made up to teach my son orientation
Let's point East, where the dawn does start (extend arm and point to the East)
the sun comes out to play 

At noon, the sun stands overhead. (raise arm to straight up)
the warmest part of day. 

The sun keeps marching to the west (lower arm slowly to the West and then down)
the evening dusk brings night.

And now the moon and stars appear (raise both arms like a big moon circle emerging)
to guide and bring new light.

--------

Thinking about all this brings me back to my time in college where I started feeling like not wearing a watch anymore. And I stopped using an alarm clock. I don't know why, but I just felt like it. And since then I have yet to use an alarm clock, unless I have to be to an airport by 4 in the morning or something completely out of my normal routine. I guess I've better found my body's natural rhythm and I pay more attention to my body's clock. It may sound silly, but like that culture the the "limitation," I've found greater empowerment to orient myself better to my natural rhythm. I consistently wake up in the same general timeframe (it's a range of 1-2 hours...depending on the season).

I've also noticed that my body, mood, and habits also change from season to season in a normal, natural way. In winter, I really do want more soups, heavier foods like potatoes and meat, and more quiet inside time to reflect and hibernate from social situations. And in summer I thrive at parks and social activities, and never want to wear black. I eat more salads and less meat. And hence our menu and clothes closets reflect these changes. It's natural.

And so what? Why does this matter?

Well, take our grocery store for instance: It has whatever we want, whenever we want! And does this help us eat according to our body's needs? Does it take into account what is in season or not?

Let's take a step to the side and think about winter. When are we most likely to get a cold? DEcember/January (like clock-work at our house). And when do oranges, filled with vitamin C with fights cold symptoms, grow and become ready to harvest? Decemeber/January! And what vitamins are pine trees know for (evergreens that stays "healthy"/aline during the winter when deciduous trees don't)? Vitamin C! (yes, you could steep pine needles in hot water and get a dose of vitamin C water to combat your cold. Or rose buds, which are also around at that time! Nature is beautifully orchestrated.

And yet, the average human dosn't know most of this stuff...except maybe the oranges. But why eat oranges when you can have orange flavored tang. Close enough, right? No! (but I rant...)

Back to the point of this long, getting to be too long I'm sure, parable....

The is power in "limitations." And quite frankly, we live in a time and society that is drowning in too much information. Too many choices. Complete overwhelm! Kids don't know what to do with themselves. They don't know what to believe. They are spiritually utterly disoriented. And if we don't give them "limitations" with purpose, then we may just hinder their ability to navigate their own future. They need a compass.

Ask yourself what limitations you need for yourself and your family.

Start by asking what do we really want for our kids?
What can you cut out? What can you add more emphasis on?
You don't have to stop using a watch or alarm clock persay...but maybe evaluate how you use your phone? What media you can eliminate, or how you could use it more purposely to add value, instead of distract.

There are many directions you could take from this one simple question, and this parable. So...I say, "good luck in your journey." May you find your true north and find joy in positive limitations that bring you closer to your ultimate destination!