Motherhood Parables: Darkness & Light

I was chatting with my son last night, actually; and he was saying he couldn’t sleep because he felt yucky inside. Well, this the the "yucky" that is more sad, scared, and emotionally-based than your average sour stomach. So we started talking about what he was scared of: the dark? something he'd heard or read or talked about with someone? etc.

As we discussed, I stopped and asked him a simple question:
What makes darkness go away?

His answer was simple: Light


And I went on to explain that we can try to run away from darkness and ignore it--hide from it; but does that make it go away? NO.

I mentioned that when I get scared I first try to close my eyes to ignore the darkness, but frequently I need to also say a prayer to ask for the feeling to go away. Then I also try to sing a nice primary song or something that invites a calm, happy, peaceful feeling in my heart. By actively putting into my head and heart good, I am better able to dispel darkness.

We can try all we want to wish things away, but life takes effort.
It takes FAITH---which is action based in hope.
HOPE--the positive anticipation that good results await.

I then explained that why the scriptures are so great. They are "light and truth." God is light and his truth bring light to our hearts and minds--our souls. As we fill our cups at his feet and read his word, listen to uplifting music and spend time in his beautiful creations--filled with his love, power and glory--we better find Him and his truth. That truth and love strengthens us. It lets his power and peace fill our hearts and overflow through grace. His grace is what strengthens us and dispels the darkness.

In college I came across a fantastically puzzling verse that took me awhile pondering to figure out.

2 Nephi 10:25

• Book of Mormon

Wherefore, may God raise you from death by the power of the resurrection, and also from everlasting death by the power of the atonement, that ye may be received into the eternal kingdom of God, that ye may praise him through grace divine.

Praise him through grace? But isn't grace what He offers us? How can we praise God with something that isn't ours to give? I can't give him grace? What does that even mean?!

ButI came to realize, during that difficult semester of my life that as we trust in him and turn those "yucky" feelings and that darkness over to him, he can help us feel His grace, and peace, and power. It's that process--of using/utilising--his atonement that allows us to say "tahnk you" to him. It's a thank you not merely muttered in a rote prayer, or spoken quickly without thought. It's is the faith-filled action of true repentance and a change of heart that literally ooze a tangible "thank you!"

I tell my children all the time not just to say "sorry" to siblings when they haven't been nice, but to "show them you're sorry." And that frequently  follows with a hug, or them taking time to retrieve a blanket--something they know matters and is loved--to give to the wounded sibling. :)

When we show our love for the Lord by actively--faithfully--applying his atonement to not only get rid of sin and poor choices, but also fears and worries; then will we feel his grace. His power will fill us more deeply and richly with light, life and meaning. The light will dispel any darkness--in our minds, hearts, soul!

After discussing that, I was able to share a few of my favorite scriptures and the stories behind why they were my favorite, and how they added light to my heart and minds at times I needed it most.

May you always seek the light and dispel any darkness that comes your way. Remember this powerful promise:

2 Timothy 1:7

• New Testament

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. 

Here are some great scriptures about light and truth
-------------------------

D&C 93:39

• Doctrine and Covenants

And that wicked one cometh and taketh away light and truth, through disobedience, from the children of men, and because of the tradition of their fathers. 

D&C 93:42

• Doctrine and Covenants

You have not taught your children light and truth, according to the commandments; and that wicked one hath power, as yet, over you, and this is the cause of your affliction. 

D&C 93:36

• Doctrine and Covenants

The glory of God is intelligence, or, in other words, light and truth. 

D&C 93:37

• Doctrine and Covenants

Light and truth forsake that evil one. 

D&C 93:40

• Doctrine and Covenants

But I have commanded you to bring up your children in light and truth. 

Motherhood Parables: Orientation and Limitations

The other day my husband came home and was telling me about a culture/group of people that don't use the words "left and right." For example, they would say things like "my north leg hurts," or "put your east hand in the air"...depending on how you were standing during that conversation (which could prove rough in a phone conversation!). Nevertheless, the result of this so-called "limitation" was that their culture, as a whole, was extremely well-oriented.

Now, I don't know about you, but I've seen a lot of people who don't know their east from their west...not even when looking at a compass! I don't feel that is a focus for most people. But I remember my very first time being exposed to the notion of N-E-S-W ("never eat shredded wheat"). It was actually at school, in second grade. I was in Alaska and we were surrounded by mountains in our beautiful valley I grew up in. My teacher explain which way was north. And from that day on, whenever I thought about which direction I was, I remembered sitting in that classroom and I would place myself in my town, relative to the direction of where I was sitting in my classroom and which mountain I was facing--and it always helped me find north.

Later, when I got to college in a completely new state, I found myself again surrounded by mountains, but only on one side--East. So for four years I could easily orient myself whereever I was, not only in that town, but for an hours drive both north or south of that town also (since the mountains spread across half of the state).

Orientation has since been something that is a part of me. Something that grounds me in my understanding of my environment. I didn't necessarily know this then, but reflecting back, I can see that is was something I valued for some reason.

Fast forward to 2012--my first child was two.I remember thinking yet again about orientation. I wanted my child to know his numbers and letters and left and right, but also his orientation. I made to sure to focus on the sun and that it rises in the east and sets in the west; and when high up in the sky right above his head it was probably time for lunch. He knew this fact of nature. And from that time on I started questioning why we didn't pay more attention to the sun and the natural rhythm of things (God's clock, persay). Why was the moon no longer the standard for a "moon-th" (month)--as in times of old.

-------
Here's the poem I made up to teach my son orientation
Let's point East, where the dawn does start (extend arm and point to the East)
the sun comes out to play 

At noon, the sun stands overhead. (raise arm to straight up)
the warmest part of day. 

The sun keeps marching to the west (lower arm slowly to the West and then down)
the evening dusk brings night.

And now the moon and stars appear (raise both arms like a big moon circle emerging)
to guide and bring new light.
--------

Thinking about all this brings me back to my time in college where I started feeling like not wearing a watch anymore. And I stopped using an alarm clock. I don't know why, but I just felt like it. And since then I have yet to use an alarm clock, unless I have to be to an airport by 4 in the morning or something completely out of my normal routine. I guess I've better found my body's natural rhythm and I pay more attention to my body's clock. It may sound silly, but like that culture the the "limitation," I've found greater empowerment to orient myself better to my natural rhythm. I consistently wake up in the same general timeframe (it's a range of 1-2 hours...depending on the season).

I've also noticed that my body, mood, and habits also change from season to season in a normal, natural way. In winter, I really do want more soups, heavier foods like potatoes and meat, and more quiet inside time to reflect and hibernate from social situations. And in summer I thrive at parks and social activities, and never want to wear black. I eat more salads and less meat. And hence our menu and clothes closets reflect these changes. It's natural.

And so what? Why does this matter?

Well, take our grocery store for instance: It has whatever we want, whenever we want! And does this help us eat according to our body's needs? Does it take into account what is in season or not?

Let's take a step to the side and think about winter. When are we most likely to get a cold? DEcember/January (like clock-work at our house). And when do oranges, filled with vitamin C with fights cold symptoms, grow and become ready to harvest? Decemeber/January! And what vitamins are pine trees know for (evergreens that stays "healthy"/aline during the winter when deciduous trees don't)? Vitamin C! (yes, you could steep pine needles in hot water and get a dose of vitamin C water to combat your cold. Or rose buds, which are also around at that time! Nature is beautifully orchestrated.

And yet, the average human dosn't know most of this stuff...except maybe the oranges. But why eat oranges when you can have orange flavored tang. Close enough, right? No! (but I rant...)

Back to the point of this long, getting to be too long I'm sure, parable....

The is power in "limitations." And quite frankly, we live in a time and society that is drowning in too much information. Too many choices. Complete overwhelm! Kids don't know what to do with themselves. They don't know what to believe. They are spiritually utterly disoriented. And if we don't give them "limitations" with purpose, then we may just hinder their ability to navigate their own future. They need a compass.

Ask yourself what limitations you need for yourself and your family.

Start by asking what do we really want for our kids?
What can you cut out? What can you add more emphasis on?
You don't have to stop using a watch or alarm clock persay...but maybe evaluate how you use your phone? What media you can eliminate, or how you could use it more purposely to add value, instead of distract.

There are many directions you could take from this one simple question, and this parable. So...I say, "good luck in your journey." May you find your true north and find joy in positive limitations that bring you closer to your ultimate destination!

Motherhood Parables: The Chalkboard

I have a big chalkboard in my kitchen on the wall that I use for homeschooling purposes. I wasn't sure at first what I would use it for exactly, but I know that I'm a visual person and I love having a place to show things, so I painted one up right after moving into our new house.

well, I found so many uses for it that there was no more room to write up a little scripture that we could focus on memorizing as a family.

As much as I would like to be that awesome family to memorize scripture every week, that is not the case. Although that is the ideal that I would love to shoot for, it's more like one a month. That said, I realized soon enough that I would need a separate chalkboard just for the scripture.

If I had one dedicated solely for a scripture we could ponder on/memorize – – ponderize--would be more likely to accomplish our weekly goal. So I covered a small magnetic board with chalkboard paper and use that for our ponderize board.

Anyway...I pulled the board off-the-wall this week so I could write our scripture on it and I realized that I love writing the scripture on this little chalkboard in a very visual way. It breaks the scripture down into a more simple and easy to understand visual definition. It's fun to organize it and draw in such a way that the icons, symbols, and words visually represent and speak more of the meaning of the scripture than just plain written words. It takes a little work, but the result is much more satisfying than just  scribbling something up there, or printing plain words ( which I normally would've just done ).

Here are some examples:

So… I was I was drawing this one, the fifth for the year I think… )Which is about one month. Ha ha) I realized that these words and the scripture brings beauty to our kitchen and to our family goal/activity of memorizing scripture.

And the only way I could do this, was because the boys were gone on a Saturday and I had some downtime with the girls. They were coloring at the table and I had an hour to kill. With extra time and a simple desire to bring beauty and meaning to a family activity/teaching, I could infuse beauty. (note, it did not take the full hour… Just 10 minutes or so. But then I also had time to write this post. :-)

Sometimes life can be so hectic or fast-paced or systemized or encroached on by outside expectations and events and standards that it's easy to forget (or not have time) to find or emphasize the beauty in life. When really, the things we own and the things we do can and should be infused with beauty and joy because in my eyes that is the purpose of life.

I am glad I have chalkboards, and that I bought a bunch of colored chalk, because now I have an outlet in which to beautify the home and in which I find enjoyment sitting down and creating pictures.

Sidenote: I've been starting to draw simple pictures for Nellie to color, rather than using a Coloring Book for her. And I find that I enjoy drawing them, even if I just copy a simple picture from the Internet coloring page, and that she enjoys coloring them just the same.… (If not more because we created something together). And that is beauty infusing our home even more, both from our creations we can display and our bonding time together.

Motherhood Parables: A Sunday Morning

A Sunday morning

So we woke up this morning to find that our two-year-old had a runny nose and a cough. I volunteered to stay home from church with her and the baby. Mama can always use a little extra rest and downtime. :-)

Luckily I was able to get both little ones down for a nap, or so I thought, which meant I actually got the next hour free.

During this time I could have defaulted to my usual method of passing time while feeding the baby to get him ready to put down: a game app called blendDoku (which since I like math games and puzzles, is a great puzzle based game to learn Colors and color theory, btw). It's just the way I waste time when my mind doesn't want to think on the realities of life. :-) But it's not really wasting time since I'm learning color theory as a side-effect, right?

AnyWho… I decided that my mind didn't know what to do and it just wanted to waste time; but seeing as it was Sunday and I didn't make it to church, I thought there may be a better way to spend my time and brainpower (Which I didn't really think I had at that time.)

So, I just went to my note app and decided to open a new note and to think about something family related or Christ centered. I really didn't have any desire to do anything else… So I thought a blank page might allow for some direction to find me, since I could find little direction myself. This was a great chance to get stuff out of my head… Because I could tell there was so much in it (hence my desire to escape reality through playing my game).

The result… I ended up writing some notes about what my family has been doing recently, and stumbled upon a drawing feature in the note app. So cool. I love doodling with my notes. Notes would be very boring for me if I couldn't doodle. :)

After doing this, I opened a new note and just started doodling something, and this doodle turned into something really cool that I had kind of been thinking about over the last year or two and developing. And it related to spiritual armor as talked about in  Scripture.

By the end of the doodle, I felt uplifted and that my mind had become more spiritually aligned and in tune to focus on things of the spirit and things of truth. And that's what my mind needed.

This was true refreshment which brings joy. The game was merely a staller to satisfy an immediate feeling. But given time and A desire for something better, I was able to find that bit of refreshment that only comes from God and his sources here on earth such as scripture and things of the spirit and charity and love.

I invite you to ponder on the next time you want to do something that has no meaningful purpose, and just ask yourself what your desire is. We don't have to know the answers, we just have to ask a question and allow time and space for direction and higher thoughts to intervene without other distractions getting in our way.

Now don't get me wrong, games are great. So don't go get rid of all your games or anything. Or I might just call you a fool--although some are better than others.  Haha. If I had no games in my life, I would be one boring mama. Remember, This is just a parable.

And by the way, after I had this uplifting experience I was able to take a shower and ponder on it more, in which I became aware of the parable of this situation I am. And then I also had time to write this post, which if no one else is able to enjoy, at least I am able to read and enjoy some time later in my life hopefully.

Blah blah blah…
Moral of the story: It was a good Sunday morning, but it's because I remembered it was Sunday, and the purpose of A "sabbath."

Little choices can have a big impact.

Motherhood Parables: The lullaby

As my children get older, with each new child I find myself humming more for their bedtime lullabies ( as opposed to singing).  I don't know, maybe I find after yelling so much it's quieter using no words. :-)  haha.  But no, really, I find the quiet tones and notes peaceful and calming and less noisy and distracting (to a baby who can't yet understand the words) than the words i used to sing.

One song I've always sung for my kids is "I am a child of God."

With Ethan I would sing it to him every night before he went to bed, so he knew that it was bedtime and he felt comforted.

With Nellie I was hit-and-miss.

With Leya… I only did it if I remembered which was very seldom.

And now with Asher… I'm still hit and miss, but more recently I've been trying to remember to do it each night, like long ago. However with him, as I mentioned earlier, I enjoy just humming the tune.

As Asher gets older and attends nursery, I iMagine then I'll start singing the words. And by that time (2 years) the song will be very meaningful to him because The tune alone will bring him comfort, but the newly added words will bring an added depth that carries above and beyond the familiar tune.

As I was pondering on this process, it made me think about certain experiences that I've had where it was a new experience and there was a lot of noise and fun things to smell and taste and see and hear…. Those experiences can be super fun and exciting. And yet huge experiences can overwhelm the senses and leave us without A real depth of experience.

Real rewarding experiences I've had recently are based in tradition or in simple experiences that are not too overwhelming for all the senses---those experiences in which I am able to just use one sense (like my ears to deeply listen and listen some more).

The more we are familiar with certain experiences, routines, processes, the more we are able to single out new observations. Sensory overload can be entertaining, and provide a more full experience, But there can be little depth in such an experience, unless senses are used to pull out observations. And that requires one single focus at a time.

Both types of experiences have merit, however a key is to making sure that there arent just "entertainment experiences." And especially for learning's sake...that there are slower type experiences that are more meditative and bring deep awareness from focused observation and thought.
(Sidenote: This is also a principle of the number two: Active versus passive, or outer versus inner, high energy versus low energy, Yang versus yin, etc.)

Motherhood Parables: Playing Set

I was reminded that the game called Set is simply awesome. I grew up loving that game. I love patterns and used to find it fun racing myself to see how quickly I could notice patterns. And I love that the game is super simple.

I've noticed that my son is pretty good with patterns too. And recently I pulled out our game called set and left it in the Homeschool pantry to see when he would notice it. He just found it today and asked to play it, though he was clueless as to what the game is about. So I pulled it out to play with him and my four-year-old (who just stared… and had fun refilling the blank spots from the cards we picked up ). She's too young. But as I was attempting to explain how to play to him, I realized I didn't quite know what the rules were for the game. I wasn't exactly sure what made the pattern and what didn't. I couldn't articulate it with words… But I knew visually.

I've always been a visual learner and catch on to things very quickly if I can see them, though my verbal explanation ability is normally more slowly developed. As my husband can attest to. :) in fact I actually grew up not only hating writing… But fearing it. I couldn't express myself with words for fear that I didn't grammatically know how to put it on paper. That's another whole story.

So anyway...instead of trying to explain the game to my son and teach him through words right away, i just started playing by myself with him as the observer. I would find a set and move those cards to him where he could see it. Then I would find another set and move that to him too. I kept doing this for a while until he said he thought he saw a set and try to guess.

I don't remember if he actually found a correct set or not… But I used this moment as a time to instruct and help him identify what did or didn't make a set. By the time I was done helping him understand why his sets he found did or didn't work… I was realizing again the rules/what the pattern is to what makes a set.

 I remember hearing about s good math teacher who taught high school students. His philosophy was to get the kids playing math-based games and then they would enjoy math and teach themselves in part. And he was correct. Even his struggling students started excelling in math.  Math became real to them and they could understand principles of math more intuitively through play, rather than merely his instruction.  Then they were motivated to listen and learn the verbal reasons why the principles they they'd seen through their experiences worked/how to apply them in other situations.

So...This experience playing Set with my son was fun for a few reasons: first off I realized again that experience is often a better teacher than verbal words and set lectures. Not always, but at least for me and other visual learners or tactile learners etc., this is generally the case.

Second, I was reminded that we most often learn the most as we teach other people… But generally that means when our approach employs the use of asking questions to help the learner identify for themselves patterns and principles.

Questions can be powerful both for the teacher and the learner to develop an eye for observation and of mind to wisely apply new found discoveries and knowledge.

It was fun reminding myself, or relearning, what the rules to the game are by helping my son play and asking questions so that he could allow his own eyes to be opened.

Motherhood Parables: The Holiday Bookshelf

Holiday bookshelf parable

As we were decorating for the holidays this year (after Thanksgiving was all done and  we said goodbye to that holiday), We commenced in pulling out the same boxes we always pull out: a box of nativity stuff, a box of tree decorations and other stockings and decor, and our holiday book box.

I can't exactly remember what I did with last year's books on the shelf where I put out the holiday books… But I vaguely remember just adding the holiday books to all the current stuff we had in our living room. But this year that just felt cluttered. So once I got all my holiday books out of the box and it was empty… I filled it with the books from my living room that are normally on the shelf.

There were more books that I took off the shelf then there were that I pulled out of the holiday book box. So the book box was now overflowing. I took the book box down to the basement and put it back with all the books we normally keep out all year. And then I began arranging the 10 or so Christmas books for us older folk on our shelf in the living room where it's nice and peaceful. These books are for decoration, reminders to read, and serve as a good reminder to focus on the real meaning of Christmas. And there set beside these books was a nice little Jerusalem wooden nativity from my parents.

I also put up the 10 or so children's Christmas books on another shelf that was previously occupied by other things. These aren't general Christmas books… But books that are both fun and serve as reminders of the real reason of the holiday. Some other types are thrown in just for fun, but we try to limit the frivolous books.

But What was different this year was that I had to clear the clutter that we normally have during the year in order to put up these books. And I didn't just move the clutter to another place, but I packed it away and thought "we can get by a whole month without these."

And I've come to realize that my bookshelf was a parable for where my focus was… Is for Christmas. I don't want to read and have my mind cluttered by other subjects and topics. My literal surroundings became more simple and focused...and also my mind became more so. 

Our surroundings and how we arrange ourselves literally can reflect where our focus is. As we simplify and clear literal clutter, we can better find peace because there is less distraction for our minds and hearts.

Side note:

For December We don't do any real homeschool curriculums or typical stuff in the same manner. We leave December open with some general ideas… But we focus more on an advent of sorts, where each week we focus on a different aspect of Christ or Christmas related theme.  we don't have any set assignments or outlines of what we have to do, Just fun ideas of games and songs and art type things--which begin to look more like knitting and winter type crafts or ornament making and paper snowflakes/decorating. And our stories are normally about wintertime or Christ or service.

December can be clutter free and feel more refreshing and a great time to focus on the family and doing things together with love... Not to mention Christmas carols and songs played all day every day. And this break makes the kids more excited come January to restart our homeschooling effort to once again.

Clear the clutter… Even if it's just for one month.

motherhood Parable: The Snowflake Experience--Tradition

Motherhood parable: the snowflake Tradition

Today we cut paper snowflakes to decorate our windows with. This is a yearly tradition we do every winter, as many others do as well.

As we were cutting white paper I was trying to instruct both my four-year-old and my six-year-old how to do this. For my six-year-old it was a reminder from last year. But my four-year-old… This was her first experience doing it by herself.

No there are many variations of snowflakes and how to cut them even how to fold them. Do you want a six sided snowflake? An eight sided snowflake? Etc. We start out with the eight sided because it is easiest to fold in half then in half then in half again. But for my six-year-old I was showing him a new level how to fold in thirds which would make sixes. It was a little bit more difficult, But he was ready for this next level.

For my four-year-old I had to prep her snowflake and actually help her fold half and half and half again. And I showed her how to cut a circle or square or triangle out of each side. And we stopped with that.

For my six-year-old I told him to cut a snake and one side and I showed him how you can cut something that weeds from one side through the middle and opens up huge and goes back skinny again to the side. So I was helping him see how to fill the space better. I also was helping him cut from the top edge more so that the snowflake edges would not be flat like typical hexagons or octagons.

For myself I was folding my six or eight again so that it would be more 12 or 16 sided. The complexity for mine was definitely a lot more compared to my four and six-year-old. I would include very similar Lee shaped variations on my snowflake to bring about a pattern that was very well ordered and coordinated. Because I can be anal like that sometimes. I love seeing the patterns and order in a well coordinated snowflake. :-)

But the random ones are just as great. And we could see that from my four-year-olds for sure… As well as my six-year-old.

As I thought about the snowflakes I realize that our kids learn a lot from us, but it's best to start with simplicity. Then build layer upon layer over time. This allows us to focus on teaching our children solid foundational principles that matter most...over and over again.

But what principles do you want our children to get deeply embedded into their soul more than anything else? That is a question that each of us has to ask ourselves.

I found that love is the key behind all things. And I wish I would teach more for love and with love. I fall short much in this regard… But I am trying. And this parable helps me realize once again that love is a foundational principle.

Two other principles that I have found over and over in my life are both hope and faith.
Hope is based in knowledge--it's based in truth. When we have hope it's because we have learned something that might be true or we have seen an example or caught a glimpse of something we want to receive or we want to work towards. Hope is positive. It is looking towards the future and potential. Stirs up our desire and motivations. Then our faith is that fuel and energy to act on such hope.

If we are doing something… we are showing faith. Even if that doing something is choosing to be still and take time with our children. Or too quiet our minds and meditate. That is still action among stillness. It is the purposefulness through which we make our choices that we show our faith.

So those are three principles which like the Scripture says in the book of Mormon faith hope and charity bring us into me the fountain of all righteousness. This is true. If we are having hope and acting and hope out of love and pure motivation… We are reaching our potential and coming closer to Christ.

So… Back to the snowflakes.
I love establishing traditions, because traditions are things that are comforting, that bring great memories, and that establish deep patterns and embed richness into our lives.

Our snowflake tradition is great because it provides a similar experience over and over again, but we are able to further deepen our understanding with each renewal of the tradition.
not only can we make a paper snowflake out of white paper, but we can change the color paper, we can change the results and color the snowflakes at the end. We can use different materials like cloth and wax paper. We can change the theme of the snowflake and try to create a shape snowflake, or a triangle snowflake, or a squiggly snowflake, or even try to make pictures out of it. I saw a YouTube channel just for Star Wars shaped snowflakes. Woah! Deep experiences like this allow our children to Gain new perspectives. It teaches mastery. It shows children the process by which to think through things differently each time. It is mind opening with each renewed experience. It allows them to see strengths and weaknesses of different approaches each time. It's a deeper, more holistic experience.

"Snowflake experiences" can change the way in which our children see the world, and see themselves in the world. "Snowflake experiences" and traditions are important--they are foundational to family and to our journey of learning and living.

What are your traditions?
What does your family love doing together?
Enjoy them, and you can build and strengthen your families' foundations in many rich Ways

Motherhood Parable: Parable of the Cold Hands

I was just standing in the kitchen, enjoying my patch of sunshine that shined through my back window and warmed my toes. When I heard a faint "knock, knock" coming from my back door. I don't mean the sound of knocking...I mean the literal words! My little almost-two-this-month year old was standing at the back door, shoeless, in a shirt and pants only. She looked at me with her big beautiful eyes and smiled, while her hands hung red and limp from holding cold snow.

Ahhh..childhood. To enjoy being cold and wet--at least at first. Luckily she hadn't hit that climactic tipping point when cold and wet soon becomes more overwhelming and uncomfortable than the joys of the moment. So...I opened the door and let her into the warm kitchen, quickly looking outside at the snowy hill that butts up against our backyard and just as quickly closing the door to keep the cold out.

My little Leya held up her hands and said "cold hands." Still smiling, with the full expectation that I'd hold them in mine and blow my warm breath into our cupped hands. So cute.

So I did blow. But I didn't stop there.
I remembered what my elementary school teachers always said to us in the cold Alaska winters, when we came in from recess, shaking and cold, "If you're cold, put your hand under your armpit. It's the warmest place on your body." That always stuck with me.

So I lifted her cold little hand up to her armpit and put her other arm down tight over it.
She winced at the coldness, but then smiled.
I smiled. Then did it with her other hand as well.
She smiled again (no wincing this time), and gave a little child-like chuckle. Her big blue eyes still beaming with curiosity, innocence and light from the winter sun through our window. So cute. And yet there's more to learn from this little experience...

Hence...this is why I'm writing this post.

And even now she comes to me again with cold hands, expecting a warm-breath.
Warm breaths are so comforting and warming. The feel great. But...at what point is she ready for more?
She knew mama had the answer and gave warm breaths. And she even tried to use her own breaths, which were still cold and weak and with un-cupped hands. She still had much to learn.

But this last time she now learned the warmth of her own body and armpit. She learned another way to warm up her hands. She was empowered with knowledge. Granted...she had no initial intention of purposely putting her own hand under her armpit to warm herself because she also knew the initial coldness and uncomfort she first felt, with hesitation, when I tried to put her hand up there.

But now she was more open to putting her hand under her armpit to warm it up.
And I even went ahead and showed her how to rub her hands on pants to warm them up with friction.

Now she wasn't just a cute little helpless girl needing mama. She was still cute, but now empowered. Empowered with knowledge of how. But empowered also with experience too. Knowledge plus application.

What? There are degrees of empowerment? Come again?
A resounding yes!!!

She was also empowered with more knowledge, through alternative ways to warming herself (more perspectives), and having now various experiences (that were still similar experiences).
She was gaining depth.

What do we look for in our learning and teaching? Do we scour the buffet and taste everything, merely to leave without a favorite to delve into and find comfort in? Or do we dive deeply into one delectable dish, ignoring all the other possibilities? It's a fine balance, but one key is to find both depth and breadth.

The other key, which is why I started writing this post, is learn and teach for empowerment.

When seeking an answer to a question or problem in life, what do we (or our kids) look for?
A quick warm-breath solution, so we can go out and play?
Or perhaps a life-changing, but empowering experience that enables us to be more independent and stronger in our minds and abilities.

Again...my post runs long, and now my kids have noticed I am missing...
Alas, I must end.

Happy discovering and experiencing. May you find and give empowerment to all, especially those you truly love!

Motherhood parables: Parable of the Peanut

I was sitting outside eating peanuts (with shells) with my son yesterday. He was trying to crack them. I asked him where the seam of the peanut was and he seemed confused. so I pointed to his pants and showed him where the seam was. I asked if it would be easier to pull apart his pants in the middle of the fabric or where the seam was--where two pieces attach together. He said at the seam. So I said it was the same with the peanut.

I then went on to explain that where things are divided, that is where potential weakness lay.

I then remembered plastic cups that we can hang on our fridge. They are plastic cups, but the part that hangs is a circle--the bottom half of which is plastic, the top half of which is some type of rubber compound. The rubber on all four of our cups have broken off from a plastic,  so that now we cannot hang these cups. All of them broke in the same spot… The same weakness (which happened to be the seam where plastic met the rubber.)

Three examples: a true principle.

This is a characteristic/principle of the number two. Two can mean opposite, differences… But it can also mean connection and partnership. Think of a marriage relationship between a husband and a woman. Both are opposite and different, yet there is potential for both partnership and division.

Weakness, is not inherently bad. It helps to be aware of the principle of number two being that within partnership there is also a potential weakness for division.

I've always loved the scripture ether 12:27, which states that God gives us weaknesses and if we have faith he will make them strong for us.

Do not condemn yourself because of weaknesses. Rather seek heavenly fathers hope and truth that he gives to humble and willing seekers. He will turn weaknesses into strengths. But that can only happen if we are first aware of our weaknesses and have faith to face them...in order that we might find greater partnership, and thus greater wholeness.

Motherhood parables: observing the leaf

 How many of us say we are not artists?
 How many feel they grew up without artistic experience opportunities?

 My daughter came to me  with a leaf that was heart-shaped. "Look mom a heart-shaped leaf!"
 Then my son asked what type of plant  it was.  It was some type of a tree but I couldn't tell  which, all I knew was that we have aspen trees in the front and side yard. So I said maybe it's an aspen and told them to go get a leaf from our aspen tree so we could compare.

 Upon comparison we realized the shapes were somewhat similar, but one was a heart and the other somewhat heart shaped but not completely. We also noticed the same green and yellow colors in the leave, yet the veins of one leaf  were dark, while light on the other; and the parts that were yellow on one leaf were reversed on the other. We also noticed the textures of the leaves were completely different: one felt more like paper bordering on plastic, while the other one felt very soft (more like cloth). Then there was the outline of the leaf which matched each other...slightly rounded yet tiny jaggidies.  (Definitely not the technical terms. ). 😜 Were they different stages of the same tree or different leaves altogether? Observations which led to interesting new questions.

 So where my going with all this?

 As I sat pondering upon these two seemingly different leaves, I wondered about the art of observation. 

This is something I've been thinking a lot about the last two years as I've explored my more artistic side and try to get more in touch with  observing things around me.

 I'm sharing this because I feel if one knows the elements of art one knows the elements of observation; and to improve upon one is to improve upon the other. So if you do not feel like an artist ask yourself this question: how good am I at observing my world? Do I slow down and take time to be fully aware of the world around me?

 Sometimes life can go really fast or get really busy that we don't take time to stop and ponder and ask questions. Or sometimes we don't know what questions to ask. I think this was my problem growing up – – I just didn't know what questions to ask.

 I grew up in Alaska, surrounded by nature. And I love being in nature, but I never felt like I could fully appreciate nature… Like I could absorb it and it could become a part of me. It was always something I enjoy being out in, but couldn't feel completely satisfied that I was taking it all in as much as I wished. I needed both the right questions to ask and also time in nature with those questions. Curiosity is a powerful thing especially when empowered and equipped with the right questions or focus.

 So enough of my rambling… And back to art or the art of observation.

There are basic art elements and terms that all artists get familiar with in order to observe and create art. I never remember learning these terms specifically, though bits of them are familiar and basic enough to  all of us to understand.   The key is simplifying all these lists of art elements people throw at you into one simple breakdown  that is easy to remember and makes sense to your average person.  So here's my simple breakdown of the six or so basic art elements...summarized/grouped as just a few:

• line, shape, form:  though typically separated as three elements, I see these as one element to be aware of, and the transformations of such . Simply put a line can transform into an outline or shape, which can then transform into a form which is The three-dimensional shape. So when you are observing something....

1. First look for its lines what lines do you see?
2. Then what  takes shape and outlines?
3. Then how did the shapes and lines create a three-dimensional form? 

• Light, color (hue), quality (value--along black and white scale--& intensity--brightness) :   Light is black and white, but light is broken down into color (aka hues), then the quality of the color can be analyzed. So when you look at something ask the following types of questions: 

1. Where is the light?  From what source?
2. What color appears from this light?
3. What is the quality of the color:  is it pure or has its value been tainted by black (shades) or white (tints)?  What is its intensity: bright or dull (does it reflect or absorb light)?

• Texture:  the physical feeling of an object. how does  an object physically  feel or appear to feel?   is it flat or bumpy? Small or large? Dainty or chunky? Soft or hard? 

• Space:  The physical area or location of the object and it's relation to its surroundings. 

So next time you find yourself going too fast...slow down and look at something. Ask yourself some of these questions. And if you need help, try carrying a sketchbook around and starting just noticing basic lines and shapes. Or start paying more attention to sunsets and the autumn changing leaf colors... what colors do you see? And do you notice how they change along the color rainbow/spectrum.

Motherhood Parables: The Surprise Cookie Rescue

So I'm sure many are familiar with the pre-dinner breakdowns. When everyone is tired and hungry from the long day and mom doesn't want anyone touching the food or sneaking the snacks in the pantry because dinner is only 20 minutes away! And you feel you head is stretched five ways between the boiling pot of rice and the baby toddling into all sorts of trouble and the older kids saying their going to die of starvation!

In crises like these I sometimes feel that only a husband home early from work can magically restore the peace (and my sanity).

And yet there is hope! Surprise!

Yesterday I saw a facebook notification that the neighbor kids on the corner had a little cookie stand outside their house to raise money for some nice charitable cause---heart association or something. Anyway...happy to support a good cause and to have an excuse to get the "crazies" out of the house (yes...all of us) and go for a walk, we ventured out.

Dinner was practically done and we just needed to wait five more minutes. But I turned off the stove and thought the vegetables would finish steam cooking just fine without heat. And I shouted (with all that pent up frustration from minutes before), "Time for a surprise!"

Well if that didn't get attention...! It did. I told my kids it was time to get on our shoes and go find a surprise at the corner. They anticipation and excitement was explosive. Ethan's running to get his shoes...giggling from the joy of a surprise. I'm feeling an intense pre-breath-of-fresh-air-coming feeling. Nellies just happy beacuse ethans happy and her little head is imagining candy and princess and dancing and whatever. And baby likes shoes...so she's happy to put them on and be with everyone.

Everyone is happy.
And we finally get to the corner and yay, the kids say "cookies!" and we eat. I talk to a neighbor. And breathe. And the walk does us all a little good. We hold hands. We are happy.

Wow. By the time we got home I told my husband, now home...I need more surprises in my life! I was rescued by surprise cookies.

------
And so it is. Sometimes I need rescuing from my tense moments where I feel I have no pressure valve or guage beyond my own limits and control. And when I don't feel in control, it sure would be nice to have someone hit a big red button and yell "surprise" and change the mood.

So, I'm making a big red button. IT will be in our great room. And I will push the surprise button and yell "surprise" anmd I will change my negative, tense mood and situation to something to celebrate. Yes...that means being blind to what the surprise is. That button will be my invitiation to be spontaneous and make something up off-the-cuff.

I think I will enjoy the mind break and live more creatively and joyfully. We will find something to celebrate.

p.s. March 26 is "Make Up Your Own Holiday" Day. So go ahead and try it saturday, whether or not you feel sane. It'll be good practice.

And breathe...life should be fun.

The End.

Motherhood Parables: The Highchair Stare

So I was feeding my little 16 month old last night and trying to figure out what in the heck she wanted.

You know those times you hear unintelligible noises coming from the corner of the kitchen and you think, "what? I'm sorry...Are you trying to ask for more food?" (while I'm cleaning the dishes and vaguely aware of your existence) :P

Sometimes it can get kind of annoying to figure out those cues from baby. But other times is so cute and can be viewed as a powerful, bonding experience.

So this time (thank goodness it was a good day and my patience-levels hadn't reached "burnout" yet), I enjoyed the chance to just slow down and stare at her. And she stared back---though she was not staring at me, but at one of the two things in my hand.

I had picked up water in one hand and a banana in the other.
She briefly glanced at the water, and then at the banana--at which she continued to stare.
I knew she wanted the banana.

How did I know? Well, that's what she was intently focused on. So...I gave her the banana. And a smile crossed her face. Obviously satisfied with both the object she received, and the acknowledgement on my part of her request--the smile of satisfaction from knowing she was heard and understood.

---
Ahh...to feel heard and understood--valued. And to really feel the deep satisfaction of receiving something you truly want or need.

I'm not talking about getting a birthday present from someone that means nothing and that you probably send to the thrift store. I'm talking about a more lasting satisfaction of a deeper yearning and need. The need to feel you are expressing the depth of what your heart feels and aches for (whether or not you fully are aware of that yourself). The need to feel you are of worth and your life is amazing, despite the temporary messy house and chaos that happens daily.

---
Wow...I could go on and on, but I think this is where this parable stops for today. But, to summarize two points:

• Paying attention to where our focus is (or isn't) is a great clue to what we truly need or want. We may quickly glance from one thing to the next, but it is where our constant focus keeps pulling us back to that is a clue to where our attention really lies (for better or worse). And if for worse, we can change and dig deeper to find a greater, deeper need and desire.
• Receiving what we truly, righteously desire is so soul-satisfying that it's satisfaction has a tremendous power to change both giver and receiver immensely (even immediately). And that power's sustaining effect can help us better deal with temporary chaos and open the door to new perspectives on our situations that allow greater relationships and awareness for things that really matter.

And really it all boils back to the atonement and our Divine NAture. We are divine being of great potential that gets hidden or bombarded in this life. We have it. Some know it, but others don't. As we seek to be our truest self and understand that divine potential, God opens doors and shows us who we are and how we can best be of use to our fellowman to fulfill their deep needs. And the end result is that our deepest need too are filled and we shine bright and are infused with Joy that lasts beyond the daily "vales of sorrow" we encounter in this life.

-------------- Two great C.S. Lewis Quotes---------------

“It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.” 

― C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory, and Other Addresses

“It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest most uninteresting person you can talk to may one day be a creature which,if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree helping each other to one or the other of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all of our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations - these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit - immortal horrors or everlasting splendors.” 
― C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory

Motherhood Parables: Backwards Underwear

Ok, I'm sure we've all been through it: the three year old who still cant always get her clothes on the right way. Seriously, I get it's a matter of time, but something is seriously lacking in the mental awareness, my little one. At least when it comes to underwear.

It's one thing to get shoes mixed up if you can't feel a difference of left versus right. But little girls underwear? There is obviously a small front and a bigger back. And when that small front in in the back...one word: plumber-bum! I'm sure that doesn't feel good.

So the other day I noticed her underwear backwards and asked her, "how does your underwear feel?" and she said "a little uncomfortable." So I told her to look down and the front. And she noticed there was no picture...which she knew meant it was on backwards. Aha moment for her!

Is it just total ignorance on behalf of my little girl? OR
Did I, as her mother, need to take time to instruct more thoroughly (to go beyond the instruction/word phase of "this is the front"--beyond the principle--to point out observations.
Sometimes in the frantic pace of life we all forget to check which way our underwear is turned...in theory at least. All all too often our awareness is lacking. At these times we need a guide to further instruct us by a gentle question, such as..."how does it feel?"

Sometimes we all need aha moments. Those precious moments of increased awareness allow us to choose to observe and then act/change. And often times those moments come when we have problems and things don't "feel right," or sometimes even when we come across new information, or valuable resources that cause us to stop and take a look at something more closely.

Life problems that arise, or unexpected changes that come, can be important aha moments-- opportunities for "tweaking" something that needs to be corrected.


So, back to the kids...
When underwear is on the right way, we can both see it's turned correctly and we can also feel comfy. But if we only teach our kids one part and ignore the other, then they don't become real problem solvers needed to really grasp truth and try it for themselves. They need to understand how they see and recognize truth. And a big part of that may be how they are introduced to new learning opportunities and experiences.

Two important parts to learning:
1. Facts and Knowledge
Bits and pieces that enter the mind.
2. Awareness/Feeling (of truth, light, peace--the Spiritual witness/Personal revelation)
Observations and feelings about things that enter the mind.
Does something feel right? Does it feel true? Is there goodness here? Light? Or does it feel uncomfortable, heavy, wrong or dark?

Yea, behold, I will tell you in your mind and in your heart, by the Holy Ghost, which shall come upon you and which shall dwell in your heart. 

This is the spirit of Revelation.   --D&C 8:2-3

I was chatting with some friends about how great it is to be able to be with our kids when they are first introduced to certain concepts or experiences. What a fun time to help our kids learn to navigate through certain things. But even more important...what a great opportunity to really value those times of "new introductions" as a chance to focus on the question: "how do you feel about that?" To really get a chance to have good discussions and spiritual depth to our learning and conversations---thus allowing learning to go more deeply and internally into our children in ways that strengthen and grow their testimonies of light, truth and the power of learning by the spirit.

Beauty
This is beauty! Beauty allows for the feeling of truth--a depth to learning that brings a love and passion for it and allows it to really live deeply in both heart and mind--therefore lasting memory.

Beauty is often seen and felt without words and instructions. As we surround our children by things of real, lasting beauty, we allow them the experience of feeling beauty and knowing it (regardless of knowing it intellectually). Then when children are ready for the intellectual details, they get them even more powerfully because they've already felt it and lived amid it!

Classics
Take for instance a child surrounded by classics: music, poetry, literature, art, etc. When they grow up, they will feel so use to that climate. They will feel at home with the classical melodies, poetic rhythm of words, even difficult words, and beautiful art. They will feel their beauty and goodness and not expect less, because they were surrounded by greatness.

Nature
Taken a step further: Surround a child in nature and allow them to feel the beauty of the earth and it's mysteries. They learn to become aware and develop observation and gratitude for it. They love it and remember it and soon feel the drive to learn more about they beauty they've received so fully.

The Home (as Heaven on Earth)
Taken even one step further: a home of love and peace where Christlike attributes of love, patience, faith, gentleness and gratitude abound...and there will be a haven of safety and security. Now...this is ideal. And I'd love a perfect, peace-filled home always. But I know there are frustrations--and it isn't 100% all the time. And yet, I still seek my ideal. Knowing when I fall short, that it's ok as long as I keep turning to the savior to ask for help and personal revelation on ways I can better provide that atmosphere in my home. He wants what's best for us and can help properly instruct us in the details and the feelings needed to get that result. It's up to our awareness of what contributes to that ideal and what takes away from it that needs our utmost attention and priority. Once that is set, it's easier to keep course-correcting as we go.

----
So much for a short parable about underwear!
But...I like to feel comfortable and not have worries that my underwear is on backwards. So stop and take a moment to check yours--by sight and feel--before you proceed. :P

Motherhood Parables: The Tortilla Chip

Ok, so cute...!

I was sitting with my son the other day  (5 years old, almost 6), eating some nachos or something. And here is the conversation that followed...

Ethan said,
"mom, this chip is kinda like a triangle. Sorta. Well, it's "ish."
(He said it all matter-of-factly, yet with a question, at the same time.)

I looked at him, smiled and said,
"Yeah, I guess it is. It's -ish."

Then he went on...
"We are kind of -ish too, huh?"

And I said...
"Yeah, that's true. We are ish. And that's ok, isn't it?"

And responded with a smile...
"Yep. It's ok being ish."

And we continued eating our nachos, as we smiled together--bite after bite of our "triangle-ish" chips.

----
We had read a great, simple book a few times in the last year, that I could tell played a part in his awareness of this "ish" principle.... It's called Ish, by Peter Reynolds.

It is about a little kid who got frustrated that he couldn't draw the flowers perfectly. But then found out his younger sibling treasured his artwork more than he could've imagined. And told him his art was ish, and beautiful. Once that boy felt valued for his contributions in the way he best could contribute, he felt empowered to do more. He felt valued and special. This acceptance and love allowed him to do more and express himself greater--and draw--as he felt inspired (rather than based just on a specific, perfect outcome or result--according to some outsiders perspective and view).

Such a valuable lesson for all kids (young and old). If kids don't learn this principle when they are young, it will be a lot harder to break them out of their perfectionism and self-imposed walls of non-self-expression later. It's important to build and encourage our kids in ways they can contribute, not focusing on what they can't or where they fall short. They need to be allowed space, time, and ways to learn and grow. And what we do and say to nurture that growth in themselves (or hinder that) can have far lasting impacts.

...
After our lunch I was able to briefly mention that we are ish and make poor choices that get sad consequences. But that Christ, because of his great life of good choices got the greatest consequence of all: eternal life (including his resurrected/perfect body back and living with God again). And we too, even if we feel imperfect or "ish" can trust that as we love the Savior and try our best...he views our "ish" as beautiful. Because our ish is us giving what we can--an he focuses on our potential.

Whether of not Ethan gets the details behind this eternal truth, at this point, isn't my main focus; Just that he knows Christ is ok with Ish, and so am I. And seeing Ethan happy to just try--how he can--and not be scared of "failure" to hit a specific standard or expectation (that is not of eternal consequence), is good for me.

There is way too much comparison in this world. So many expectations and standards that some begin to take higher priority than those standards that really matter--like a Christlike character.

There is also too much negative/fear in this world. Fear is the opposite of faith. Where fear is, faith cannot exist. And I choose a house of faith. As long as we have faith in Christ, we can move forward to reach our potential. And I'm happy with that, even though our steps and accomplishments may seem slower or more "ish" compared to others. Our ish will be the ish it needs to be and we will have joy in our "ish-journey," knowing we are taking steps that matter, towards our eternal potential.

Motherhood Parables: The Walk-in Closet

Here's number three of my Motherhood Parable Series:

The Parable of the Walk-in Closet
I always wanted a walk-in closet! When we first got married we lived in an apartment. Two different apartments, actually. The closets were so tiny, I thought them a joke. (Really, they were standard small room closets, just not a walk-in). And I loved clothes! I had a bunch and I love wearing different layers and types of clothes to match the seasons. >I< NEEDED my walk-in closet.

Well, it wasn't until we bought our new house that I got my walk-in closet. It wasn't a big closet, but the fact you could step in, turn around and go back out made it it a walk-in. I thought, "This is ok, it's close enough."  But it wasn't the walk-in closet I really wanted! In fact, I still had two boxes of clothes in storage and a huge sweater box/trunk at the end of our queen bed.

Anyway, as dreams of a big walk-in closet with tons of shelves and places of all sorts of knick-knacks and such ran through my head, I started feeling like I had too many clothes. My problem was that I just kept accumpulating thrift-store clothes and donations and rarely got rid of them. I would "make do and wear them out" and then get rid of them. That is a good practice, in theory. However, I realized that I didn't wear most of the clothes, and that they were more of a burden to me in having to deicide what to wear and how to match things, than a blessing.

So, I started getting rid of anything that I felt was just "blah."
Then I got rid of anything Paul hated.
Then I got rid of things that I just had since high school that made me feel like a little kid, instead of the mother of three that I am.
Then I started going through things that looked worn, old, etc.
Then I started paying attention to colors and styles. And I got rid of colors that washed me out. And styles that didn't flatter my body type or my personality.

Four trash bags later I narrowed my stuff down to one trash bag full of clothes. About three shirts in each color, and six in the neutrals. About 6 skirts/dresses. About 8 shoes. A box of layering tees in the colors I love that coordinate with the colors of shirts I liked. I now had a basic color palette in my closet which made mix-n-matching much easier. And my closet soon wasn't looking so full.

Not only the closet, but the closet result overflowed into narrowing my jewerly and accessories down. I got rid of my jewelry box and just kept those things that were meaningful and matched my specific color pallet.

I still honestly. feel like I have too much stuff. Too many clothes. Too many shoes. Too many necklaces. And so on.... But I have come a long way. And you know what? I never even think about a bigger walk-in Closet now. I just bought a few closet organizer boxes for simple keeping of my specific clothing articles. A shelf for workout clothes. Box for socks. Box for underwear, etc. We even got rid of our night stands and dresser! And everything fits in our closet perfectly. And we have just one box for seasonal clothes that we keep at the top.

In fact, I even got rid of my lime colored shoes that I liked. Just because I'd bought them right after my mission and thought it was my spark of uniqueness back then. But I don't need that anymore. And I don't want to feel like a teenager, or in that stage of life. I've moved on to a new phase. It's so delightfully freeing!


Lessons Learned:

• Our clothes make a statement. And since finding purpose and meaning in how I dress myself, I feel more purposeful and intentional in creating the life I desire.
• I had too much stuff! It's easy to accumulate, but takes work to let go. Am I willing to think through those things?
• "Wear it out and make do" works, if you are using it and like it. But if not...give it to someone who will use it more than you!
• Better understanding my personality and what I like and want helps me choose and stick to a set look and feel that make me happy, instead of just wearing whatever is around, or trying to match other's styles or personalities. and it makes picking out clothes and shopping a breeze! More mental energy for the other things I really need to focus on.
• More or bigger isn't always better. I frequently don't need more. I simply need to evaluate what I have and align it with what I want. The leftovers need to disappear. This creates not more stuff and greater organization. But rather, less stuff that is high quality and more meaningful and simplifying in it's effects.

So...what stuff do you just keep because it's around and you already paid for it?
Is the motivation of holding things a fear of letting go?
Are you too emotionally connected to the past and items that are holding you back in your maturing and moving into whatever season of life you are currently in?
Could you picture things you own on someone else, instead of you?

Motherhood Parables: The Messy High Chair

Here is the second parable from motherhood that has come to mind frequently...namely everytime I clean the high chair (daily).

The Parable of the Messy High Chair
We have a one year old baby. And boy does she love throwing food and squishing food all over her high chair and floor. I'm always surprised at how food gets in the most-inconvenient-to-clean corners of that chair. And I'm also surprised at the amazing sticking power sweet potato and other foods have. once dried. Some I would compare to the power of super glue! Seriously...not fun. Anyone who saw our high chair when baby first started eating would've thought I never cleaned it.

I wipe things down quickly if I get a chance. But frequently I don't get it all before it hardens. So Some would just pile on and I'd have crusty mountains piling up on the sides betweent he bars. Don't judge me as being a bad mom because of my messes! :)

Anyway, the first few months I didn't want to clean that high chair because it always involved a half hour of scraping and strenuous work. I used a pastry scraper. IT wasn't fun trying to scratch and force all those pieces of hardened gunk off...and especially in the corners.

IT wasn't until I stopped and actually thought about my approach and wondered. "Is this the best approach? Then I thought about my washing dishes. If a dish was left on the oven and the food remnants hardened in the pot, I always tell Paul to soak it over night and then I'll wash it in the morning. I'd rather spend two minutes washing it the next day, than Paul's 30 minutes trying to scrub it out late that night.

Isn't it the same with the high chair?
So I sprayed it with lemon water and went back ten minutes later with my rag and got most of it accomplished just fine, without a scraper.

Lessons learned: 
I am not the best cleaner.
I don't like cleaning things when I don't know how to do it well and it takes a ton of my effort, time, and energy.
Lemon water and a good soak is often times what crusty old dried food needs to get clean.
And I should just clean it up before it dries--but that's the ideal and honestly...not gonna happen as often as I'd like.

I think about this all the time in lmy life. What are my approaches to the things I do?
I especially think about it a lot with homeschool. Are things easier or harder than they should be?
What feels natural and nice and what feels forced and hard to do?

So, I will keep this question in my mind. And every time I see my high chair. :)