Motherhood Parables: A Sunday Morning

A Sunday morning

So we woke up this morning to find that our two-year-old had a runny nose and a cough. I volunteered to stay home from church with her and the baby. Mama can always use a little extra rest and downtime. :-)

Luckily I was able to get both little ones down for a nap, or so I thought, which meant I actually got the next hour free.

During this time I could have defaulted to my usual method of passing time while feeding the baby to get him ready to put down: a game app called blendDoku (which since I like math games and puzzles, is a great puzzle based game to learn Colors and color theory, btw). It's just the way I waste time when my mind doesn't want to think on the realities of life. :-) But it's not really wasting time since I'm learning color theory as a side-effect, right?

AnyWho… I decided that my mind didn't know what to do and it just wanted to waste time; but seeing as it was Sunday and I didn't make it to church, I thought there may be a better way to spend my time and brainpower (Which I didn't really think I had at that time.)

So, I just went to my note app and decided to open a new note and to think about something family related or Christ centered. I really didn't have any desire to do anything else… So I thought a blank page might allow for some direction to find me, since I could find little direction myself. This was a great chance to get stuff out of my head… Because I could tell there was so much in it (hence my desire to escape reality through playing my game).

The result… I ended up writing some notes about what my family has been doing recently, and stumbled upon a drawing feature in the note app. So cool. I love doodling with my notes. Notes would be very boring for me if I couldn't doodle. :)

After doing this, I opened a new note and just started doodling something, and this doodle turned into something really cool that I had kind of been thinking about over the last year or two and developing. And it related to spiritual armor as talked about in  Scripture.

By the end of the doodle, I felt uplifted and that my mind had become more spiritually aligned and in tune to focus on things of the spirit and things of truth. And that's what my mind needed.

This was true refreshment which brings joy. The game was merely a staller to satisfy an immediate feeling. But given time and A desire for something better, I was able to find that bit of refreshment that only comes from God and his sources here on earth such as scripture and things of the spirit and charity and love.

I invite you to ponder on the next time you want to do something that has no meaningful purpose, and just ask yourself what your desire is. We don't have to know the answers, we just have to ask a question and allow time and space for direction and higher thoughts to intervene without other distractions getting in our way.

Now don't get me wrong, games are great. So don't go get rid of all your games or anything. Or I might just call you a fool--although some are better than others.  Haha. If I had no games in my life, I would be one boring mama. Remember, This is just a parable.

And by the way, after I had this uplifting experience I was able to take a shower and ponder on it more, in which I became aware of the parable of this situation I am. And then I also had time to write this post, which if no one else is able to enjoy, at least I am able to read and enjoy some time later in my life hopefully.

Blah blah blah…
Moral of the story: It was a good Sunday morning, but it's because I remembered it was Sunday, and the purpose of A "sabbath."

Little choices can have a big impact.

Motherhood parables: Parable of the Peanut

I was sitting outside eating peanuts (with shells) with my son yesterday. He was trying to crack them. I asked him where the seam of the peanut was and he seemed confused. so I pointed to his pants and showed him where the seam was. I asked if it would be easier to pull apart his pants in the middle of the fabric or where the seam was--where two pieces attach together. He said at the seam. So I said it was the same with the peanut.

I then went on to explain that where things are divided, that is where potential weakness lay.

I then remembered plastic cups that we can hang on our fridge. They are plastic cups, but the part that hangs is a circle--the bottom half of which is plastic, the top half of which is some type of rubber compound. The rubber on all four of our cups have broken off from a plastic,  so that now we cannot hang these cups. All of them broke in the same spot… The same weakness (which happened to be the seam where plastic met the rubber.)

Three examples: a true principle.

This is a characteristic/principle of the number two. Two can mean opposite, differences… But it can also mean connection and partnership. Think of a marriage relationship between a husband and a woman. Both are opposite and different, yet there is potential for both partnership and division.

Weakness, is not inherently bad. It helps to be aware of the principle of number two being that within partnership there is also a potential weakness for division.

I've always loved the scripture ether 12:27, which states that God gives us weaknesses and if we have faith he will make them strong for us.

Do not condemn yourself because of weaknesses. Rather seek heavenly fathers hope and truth that he gives to humble and willing seekers. He will turn weaknesses into strengths. But that can only happen if we are first aware of our weaknesses and have faith to face them...in order that we might find greater partnership, and thus greater wholeness.

Seven Habits for Kids: Leader in Me Family Focus

We like the seven Habits in our family.
I first started to enjoy them as a freshman in college after taking a time management and Foundations of LEadership course. Then I tried reading Seven Habits of Highly Effective People--and boy was that dry! So instead I read Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens...and JACKPOT--we had a winner! I really got that book and understood the power of each principle. Throughout my years I've seen the timelessness of these great principles in simply understanding how to live a balanced life and to think about others. Once these simple seven habits are ingrained in you, you can't help but notice these principles all around.

I know it's the same for "the Golden Rule" and other habits, but I like that this sequence of seven habits is actually a sequence and is so universal in it's application.

Well, they have a youth Leadership emphasis on these Seven Habits that they roll-out in elementary schools throughout the world, called The Leader in Me. And I was so excited about it that I decided we'd roll it out in our family (and hopefully co-ops we are involved in too--as a slow/monthly focus).

Here are some of the elements we used, followed by the weekly focus.

Each Habit has a story/character that goes along with it. These books may be at your local library.
(there is also a game too if you really want to get into it). (The stories are short and not super amazing, but a good jump off point for parental discussion with ideas of how to talk about it too, if you'd like.)

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Here's how our 8-week Family Focus worked out... 
We used our Monday evenings to spend 15 minutes each week on one habit. We picked two primary children's Songs to open and close the whole evening's activity with, that aligned with that week's habit.

We started the main lesson out by singing the Leader in Me Song and introducing the new weeks topic (review the last week's one). We did this by using a Big Family Habit Tree Poster we created together each week, by adding on the new habit each time.

This is what the official one looked like. But we drew our own and drew simple symbols of  Nephi's stories along with the habits so they could tie the two together.

Each week we chose a story about Nephi that emphasized that week's habit focus. Then we chose a simple activity or had them re-enact the story so they could more easily remember that story with that habit.

Use these bullet points as you explain the weekly/monthly habit focus, to point out the different aspects of the principle, as mentioned in this great sumamry list.
 Ex: Nephi was proactive when he made his own bow because he...a) took initiative, b) was responsible since he was a good hunter and people trusted his skills....so he made the bow, c)  chose to seek the Lord's help through prayer and didn't blame others, etc.

At the end of the lesson/activity we had them each fill in their own Leader in Me Mini-Book that they used each page for a habit that they'd write/cut-and-paste the habit/title on...with room to draw what they wanted about the Nephi story that went along that week. (there are 8 pages...so one could have the tree on it also. This diagram shows you how).



Then during the week we'd try to have books on hand that we knew emphasized those principles, like the two stories from the Seven Habits from Kids Story Book Series/Collections. Or other childrens' Books we knew that went along. These would be great bedtime books, and I've listed some below with each habit.
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So here's the at-a-glance version of what we did...

Week/Habit 1: Be Proactive

• Leader in Me Song (introduce this youtube video--words and actions--lyrics posted at bottom of this post)

• 7 Habit Book Series Stories: "Just the Way I Am", or "Bored, Bored, Bored"
• Other Books: The Little Engine that Could, A Fly Goes By, Horton Hears a Who, etc.
• Nephi's Story/Activity: Story of the Bow and making his own, then prayer to know where to get food (so we had them make bows and act out the story)
• Mini-Book: we cut and paste the principle icon (see above sheet) on a page and then drew something about the lesson they remembered
• Primary Song: Nephi's Courage (p.120), Faith (p.96)

Week/Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind

• Leader in Me Song
• 7 Habit Book Series Stories: "When I Grow Up" or "Goob and the Bug-collecting Kit"
• Other Books: Ant and the Grasshopper Fable, The Very Busy Spider (Eric Carle)
• Nephi's Story/Activity: Knew he had to get to the Promise land...needed a plan to get there (followed God's plan/instructions/liahona. So we drew a map and had kids try to follow the map around the house to get to the "promise land"). 
• Mini-Book: we cut and paste the principle icon (see above sheet) on a page and then drew something about the lesson they remembered
• Primary Song: I Will Follow God's Plan (p.164), I Lived in Heaven (p.4)

Week/Habit 3: Put First Things First

• Leader in Me Song
• 7 Habit Book Series Stories: "A Place for Everything" or "Pokey and the Spelling Test"
• Other Stories: The Little Red Hen
• Nephi's Story/Activity: We talked about Lehi's family having to leave the promise land and prioritizing what they needed, so they wouldnt take too much. A great activity would be to practice what to pack for camping or making 72-hr kits. OR doing the rocks in the jar activity (have them try to get everything in a jar, and then try again in the proper order: big rocks, medium rocks, sand, and then water--make sure you've done it first to make the quantity is right). Then point out after FHE when you have treats that you had to do the lesson first and the treat is the ultimate reward.
• Mini-Book: we cut and paste the principle icon (see above sheet) on a page and then drew something about the lesson they remembered
• Primary Song: Faith (p.96), Nephi's Courage (p.120)

Week/Habit 4: Think Win-Win

• Leader in Me Song
• 7 Habit Book Series Stories: "Sammy and the Pecan Pie" or "Lily Plants a Garden
• Other Stories: Have You Filled a Bucket?, Rainbow Fish
• Nephi's Story/Activity: We talked about Nephi and his brothers trying to trade their treasures for the brass plates...a win-win idea (though Laban was selfish and didnt accept that alternative). Then we played hot potato with a beanbag singing "Happy Family" (I help you and you help me...). whoever it landed on by the end of the song gets to toss the beanbag into the bucket (reminding of the fill-their bucket=fill-your-bucket book's principle)
• Mini-Book: we cut and paste the principle icon (see above sheet) on a page and then drew something about the lesson they remembered
• Primary Song: We're All Together Again (p259), Here We Are Together (p261), We Are a Happy Family--or Any Family song

Week/Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

• Leader in Me Song
• 7 Habit Book Series Stories: "Lily and the Yucky Cookies" or "Jumper and the Lost Butterfly Net"
• Other Stories: Blind Men and the Elephant, And to Think That I Thought We'd Never Be Friends, Little Miss, Big Sis., Runaway Bunny
• Nephi's Story/Activity: Ethan mentioned the opposite of this principle, so we went with it--Laman and Lemuel hitting Nephi with sticks, and the angel appearing. That wa a good chance to discuss bully behavior being not taking time to understand each other. So we also decided to re-enact some common happenings at our house, using stuffed animals, so we could stop and ask questions about how to stop and think about why meaness was happening to siblings sometimes.
• Mini-Book: we cut and paste the principle icon (see above sheet) on a page and then drew something about the lesson they remembered
• Primary Song: Kindness Begins with Me (p145), I'm Trying to Be Like Jesus (p78)

Week/Habit 6: Synergize

• Leader in Me Song
• 7 Habit Book Series Stories: "Sophie and the Perfect Poem" or " The Big Bad Badgers"
• Other Stories: Blind Men and the Elephant, Little Swimmy
• Nephi's Story/Activity: We talked about Nephi on the boat and how Laman and Lemuel tied Nephi up and the storm came and they were driven back; but, if they were to all work together and trust the Lord then that wouldn't have happened and they wouldve made their way to the Promised Land sooner.  For the activity I drew a simple black and white outline picture of our family holding hands in a circle, and cut it into puzzle pieces. The I gave everyone some and told them to make their puzzle by themselves. No one could finish their puzzle until they worked together to create the final picture. Then we taped it on construction paper and colored it all together.
• Mini-Book: we cut and paste the principle icon (see above sheet) on a page and then drew something about the lesson they remembered
• Primary Song: Here We Are Together (p261), We Are a Happy Family

Week/Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw

• Leader in Me Song
• 7 Habit Book Series Stories: "Goob and His Grandpa" or "Sleepy Sophie"
• Other Stories: Snowy Day, or personal journals?
• Nephi's Story/Activity: We discussed Nephi taking time to ponder on the things his Father saw and delighting in the scriptures. We asked what everyone delighted in doing and did one of them--something we don't normally do together as a family. Nellie wanted to paint, so we did. OR you could write a family journal entry or put on some nice music and have everyone journal something.
• Mini-Book: we cut and paste the principle icon (see above sheet) on a page and then drew something about the lesson they remembered
• Primary Song: For HEalth and Strength (p21), Smiles (p267), Fun to Do (p253), Thankful to be Me (p11), 

Week 8: Review & Celebrate!!!

• Leader in Me Song

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Leader in Me Lyrics

We are the future leaders—

   That’s what they say.

But if we wait until the future—

   We’ll be too late.

So we won’t wait until tomorrow—

   Our time is now.

And with these seven habits

   We’ll show you how:

You gotta Be Proactive.

Begin with the end in mind.

Put first things first.

Think Win-win, all the time.

Seek first to understand, then to be understood.

Synergize with eachother—together is better.

You gotta Sharpen the saw…

   So I can see, the best I can be….

There’s a Leader in me--

   There’s a Leader in Me-eee.

I can lead myself,

I can lead my friends;

I can do anything!

There’s a Leader in Me.

   There’s a Leader in Me-ee.

The seven Habits help me to see—

  There’s  Leader in me,

  A Leader in me-eeeeee.

The Power of Not Knowing

Can we get too smart?
Is there power in not knowing?

Liz Wiseman gave a great speech at BYU recently and talking about the power of not knowing.
Here is her speech, and my notes from it...

How do you lead? Are you a multiplier or a diminisher? Many leaders think they are great leaders, because they are good people with good intentions. But surprisingly many good leaders are blind in certain areas, especially by their knowledge, and the way they lead may actually diminish people in order to get a specific outcome of focus. So a good leader is aware of their strengths and weaknesses and pays attention to their intentions as well as the response of those they lead.

She sited the example of Magic Johnson, whose real name was Irving. He took a shot every time he had a ball, when he was younger. And he won great things for his team. But his success and talent was solo and based in ego and actually diminished others in that they didn't receive opportunities or get a chance to feel greater contribution and self-growth. So he made the choice to help every member of the team contribute. He helped build confidence in others...and got the nickname "magic" because he created an atmosphere that helped raise the level of happiness and excellence for the team.

So here is the chart distinguishing the difference between diminishers and multipliers...

Rookie Smarts...
She explains that those who are rookies at something actually can outperform others in innovation work because they ask better questions and don't assume to know everything. They also better gather and connect pieces others are aware of, due to passion for the challenge. So often we are at the best, when we know the very least.

When we step out of a place of knowing into a place of not knowing...we actually can better see God's hand and see light and personal direction more clearly. It is scary, but so invigorating at the same time. The fire of faith can burn more brightly. Faith is power. And it takes faith to step into the unknown and abandon old habits, practices, plateaus, etc. We don't see clearly until we unite our knowledge and our faith. The state of not knowing can be a path to better know God. We are so often at our best when we don't know because we better rely on God's knowledge to lead and guide us to our optimal happiness and satisfaction in life.

4 Ways to Live Powerfully in the Realm of Not Knowing
1. Ask Intelligent Questions. Start operating from a place of inquiry, rather than a place you feel you know everything about. Ask questions to drive recall of what others know...rather than making command and stifling knowledge-growth. Tell less, ask more.
2. Admit What You Don't Know. Holding back is a path of fear and also covers potential opportunities for growth, individually or as a team.
3. Throw Away Your Notes. If we really know something we won't need to have the notes. It's important to have fresh thinking, once you've gotten to a depth of knowledge in something.
4. Learn to See Genius in Others The top of the intelligence hierarchy is not the one with genius, but the one who is a genius-maker of others and helps others feel great and intelligent. Genius makers are the best learners and also perpetual rookies. And its the know-how they build, not the know-how they bring.

It's in seeking, not knowing, that we really find truth and discover God's true glory and intelligence. Seek wisdom  and intelligence--not knowledge in and of itself.

So what do you know?
Could you be in a plateau that is holding you back from reaching your potential?

And what is an area that you feel drawn to, but that you feel like a rookie in?
And is there an opportunity to take a challenge and more clearly see youth path and find God more deeply in your life and heart?

Christ-centered Meditation

Anyone think meditation is totally foreign and weird and wonder why we need it? Well, there is a good book that explains how many people value and participate in meditation already, without realizing it is meditation. Here's the book and my notes and thoughts...

CHRIST_CENTERED MEDITATION, by Pam BlackwellI love in this book that she talks about what meditation is...

• Seeing God's Hand in all things: awareness of truth and goodness--of God
• Being Present: fully aware ourselves, those around us and our surroundings and situations
• Paying Attention/Focus: paying attention to the little things and having a love and respect for them
• Observation: using our senses to the fullest and noticing the sound of a bird or bee
• Gratitude: the result of seeing and acknowledging of God's miracles in everyday things
• Stillness: seeing greatness in small and simple things
• Scripture Study: coming unto Christ and his truths
• Being "with" a person: fully being/talking with the person you are with
• Purposeful: knowing the purpose and meaning behind things you do or stuff you have. living more deliberately and having priorities aligned.

And then there's what meditation is not...

• Ignoring/Checked-out: tuning out to things or people
• Irresponsibility: not being responsible for the effects of your actions
• Ignorance: lack of noticing God's little miracles
• Ingratitude: lack of appreciation and acknowledgement of God's hand
• Rushing/panic: frantic accomplishments of tasks just to get things done, without enjoying the journey or noticing details

This graphic from the book isn't the greatest quality, but it compares the "levels" and chakras to physical structure of the temple and courts. Super interesting.

here is a graphic I made to represent part of her graphic, but compared to our physical body

The book suggests a 30-Day Meditation to Come Closer to Christ. (The is a book called "Becoming His" by Emily Freeman which kind of does her version of this) But I love the idea of just setting the intention to Come Unto Him and setting our own goal and timeframe. I think you can accomplish the same thing. But her "meditations" include a question, thought to ponder and a scripture. 

In a scripture study class in College we were told to get a journal and start each study session with a question and prayer and even song if we liked. And I did that every day of the semester and it was amazing how often times I would find either a direct answer, or at least further direction in my ponderings. Questions are powerful when accompanied by sincere desire to come closer to Him and His truths.

FAMILY "MEDITATION"

Taking time to more fully love and be with each other is a great "family meditation." She talks about two types of meditation: passive (stillness and letting thoughts go) and active (creating with your imagination). Here are some ideas for those two areas:

• Passive--Breath counting together (we do this count to 8 before yoga sometimes)
• Passive--Walking Meditation (think about your step as you lift foot, then as you move foot, then as you place foot, then as you press down. Break the process down and take sllllooooow steps around the yard together. Talk about what you noticed. This can be adapted to any process or nature observation)
• Active--Visualization Exercise (imagine how you will feel when you see Christ)
• Active--Family Circle (invite Christ into the family circle and imagine energy through your hands as you join them together)
• Active--I Am poem

I thought of a few ways to boost what I'm already doing with my family to be more still/purposeful...

• Lunch: sitting and eating with my kids, asking them to use their senses to more fully be aware of what they are eating (colors, shapes, textures, sizes, smells, tastes, etc.)
• Nature time: asking them to observe the shapes, light/shadows, distance of things. Drawing once a week has helped me!
• Family Dinner: We sometimes use a candle to help it be peaceful. WE also play the "ungame" (?'s in a jar) to get to know each other better). And we have map placemats (that I hope to put family history fan chart/pedigree photo charts on--thanks Sally!) that we use to discuss things about the world and where we've lived or travelled or about things we are learning in homeschool. 
• Sunday Gratitude Prayers: we only say things we are grateful for and make it a "popcorn" style prayer, so we all take turns acting as voice. This helps us be more aware of our week and to celebrate God's hand in our family's life.
• FHE: We are trying to decide what is really important to us and plan in things we really want and need for Family Home evening. One focus we are doing this year if Family History, so there will be a regular Family History Moment/focus (at least once a month) where we share a story of an ancestor and have an object that goes with it to help kids remember. I will keep them in my special Temple Box that sits on the shelf.
• Family Journal: Emily and Tiffany mention family journaling. I think it would be great to write one line in a family journal each night as we gather. Then we will have a record and build a journalling habit of reflection, gratitude and record-keeping.
• What do you already do as a family that you can just add greater meaning and purpose to? (That could be your meditaion--way of creating greater awareness, intention and stillness)

She has an awesome Mandala (fancy word for a visual used for meditation in Tibetan Buddhism of a square within the circle). Hers looks like the temple. I love it!

The Path of Pure Intent

During my homeschool journey I have come to understand that the nature of travelling this path will include a lot of unknowns, course corrections and perhaps even u-turns. I think this journey of figuring things out is as much for my learning how to teach and follow inspiration as much as it is for my kids education. Afterall, life education is really about gaining the experience we need in this life as we progress to become more Christlike--which ultimately is acting with a pure heart. Charity is everything and without it we are nothing (like empty buckets with nothing to give).

"Wherefore, my beloved brethren, if ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth. Wherefore, cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail

 But ^acharity is the pure ^blove of Christ, and it endureth ^cforever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him.

Wherefore, my beloved brethren, ^apray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true ^bfollowers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall ^cbe like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be^dpurified even as he is pure.  (Moroni 7:46-48)

I don't know about you, but I can't afford to have my bucket empty. So, am I taking time to fill my bucket?

I love the "Have You Filled A Bucket?" Book. 
Emily mentioned this book to me awhile back and since reading it with my kids they have come to understand that we are accountable for our actions and their effects on people. Do we help fill and build others, or are we dipping from their resevoir and breaking down? 

It is important to teach our kids the effect of their actions so they can better act with pure intent to bring about positive results from their actions. 
When we act with pure desires our hearts are light, peaceful and happy. We are positive and find strength beyond our own. When we are negative or harsh in our words and our feelings I believe that we would do well to search our hearts' motivations.

Here's an example: Nellie (2 years old) keeps coming out of bed when I've asked her to stay in (she knows how to stay). Do I yell and threaten? If so, is my motive one of love and trying to understand her real needs that she may not know how to express yet? (This is a real example I face almost nightly, so I recognize I am guilty of this, but am trying to work on it.) Here are some of the things going on in my head during this trial for me:

• it's past your bed time (time)
• you should be dog tired (logic)
• I want to do my own thing now after spending all day with you (selfish)
• your brother is already asleep. Why can't you be too? (comparison)
• please just do it. It's not hard to fall asleep (convenience)
• husband, come deal with this child. I'm tired (exhaustion--totally understandable moms!)

I'm sure there are many more. And these are so relate-able and understandable. But I know that as a Mom I need to keep these things in my mind, but not let stress rule my heart and actions. 

If I take a minute for introspection to explore what I am thinking (and dig down to find the greatest motive of all--charity) then I can more properly place all these other thoughts and stresses. And that's exactly what all these competing thoughts are: stress. 

If our minds are cluttered with various reasons and excuses then it's harder to act from pure motives.  

Nephi reflected: “And why should I yield to sin, because of my flesh? Yea, why should I give way to temptations, that the evil one have place in my heart to destroy my peace and afflict my soul? Why am I angry because of mine enemy?” (2 Nephi 4:27).

He battles with some internal voices pressuring him to do one thing or another. But he had to take time for his thoughts and feelings, with a desire to get through them and find the purest motive/choice and then have faith to more properly place those voices and thoughts. 

I find that as I acknowledge my stresses (tiredness, my desire to do my own thing, the late time that is ticking away, etc); but, then say "I choose to try to understand my child first" and let go of the other stressors, that my heart opens more fully and time slows down (as well as my pulse, breathing and volume! haha). 

I need to do this more. This is using the atonement. Letting go of our incessant need to control everything. 

"Be Still and Know that I am God." (D&C 101:16)

We are not here to control things. We are here to learn how to live with peace in our hearts and minds--in harmony with the things by which we are surrounding (including our family, friends, schedules, etc.). As we learn to introspect each time we don't feel peace, we will better understand how to make "course adjustments" and better find our pure motives that result in peace and joyful living.

I hope I can remember this lesson: to fill buckets with goodness and kind words; and that when I don't feel that way I will acknowledge my feelings and work through them by laying them down at the Saviors feet and praying for more pure motives of love and a desire to understand (as opposed to shutting those feelings off and feeling like I'm a bad mom who yells at my kids). 

(And afterall...isn't this why Sacrament is the most important part of the week? A renewal of motive and pure desires?)

15 Great Principles Shared by All Religions

I came across this list of common principles found through religions.  it was from a website dedicated to integrating truth from various religions.

1. The Golden Rule / Law of Reciprocity – The cornerstone of religious understanding. “Do unto others what you would have them do unto you.” – Christianity
2. Honor Thy Father and Mother – Knowing them is the key to knowing ourselves. The day will come when we shall wish we had known them better.
3. Speak the Truth – “Sincerity is the way of heaven, and to think how to be sincere is the way of a man.” – Confucius
4. It’s More Blessed to Give than to Receive – Generosity, charity and kindness will open an individual to an unbounded reservoir of riches.
5. Heaven is Within – “Even as the scent dwells within the flower, so God within thine own heart forever abides.” – Sikhism
6. Love Thy Neighbor / Conquer With Love / All You Need is Love – Acts of faith, prayer and deep meditation provide us with the strength that allows love for our fellow man to become an abiding part of our lives. Love is a unifying force.
7. Blessed Are the Peacemakers – When people live in the awareness that there is a close kinship between all individuals and nations, peace is the natural result.
8. You Reap What You Sow – This is the great mystery of human life. Aware or unaware, all are ruled by this inevitable law of nature.
9. Man Does Not Live by Bread Alone – The blessings of life are deeper than what can be appreciated by the senses.
10. Do No Harm – If someone tries to hurt another, it means that she is perceiving that person as something separate and foreign from herself.
11. Forgiveness – The most beautiful thing a man can do is to forgive wrong. – Judaism
12. Judge Not, Lest Ye Be Judged – This principle is an expression of the underlying truth that mankind is one great family, and that we all spring from a common source.
13. Be Slow to Anger – Anger clouds the mind in the very moments that clarity and objectivity are needed most. “He who holds back rising anger like a rolling chariot, him I call a real driver; others only hold the reins.” – Buddha
14. There is But One God / God is Love – Nature, Being, The Absolute. Whatever name man chooses, there is but one God. All people and all things are of one essence.
15. Follow the Spirit of the Scriptures, Not the Words – “Study the words, no doubt, but look behind them to the thought they indicate; And having found it, throw the words away, as chaff when you have sifted out the grain.” – Hinduism

All credit to Jeffrey Moses. Www.Onenessonline.com

Celebrating Motherhood: My Blessing Way

Have you ever heard of a Blessing  Way? It's like a baby shower, but instead of just celebrating baby and getting baby gift stuff, this is more a celebration of motherhood and has a feel of traditions and respect. Apparently it has Native American roots and many other cultures and traditions mixed in. (who could resist a fun new experience merging lots of cultures...Not me!)

I'd heard about it from my friend Rachel, so I asked her to throw me a little one with a few close friends that like holistic and interesting new experiences. :) And it was so fun! I highly suggest it if you like that stuff.

I think that it's so easy to get caught up in preparations for baby and craziness, that it takes extra effort to remember that mom is important and the birthing experience is about the journey and feeling...not just the outcome.

So here's what we did....

We had candles lit and nice music playing and when we got there (I did it with another friend who's  due a month after me) Rachel put a laurel wreath on our heads with flowers. We chatted and ate healthier version treats and wassail. Everyone had found a favorite quote, saying, poem (Emily wrote a beautiful one I'll post at the end of this) about motherhood to share in their turn and express what motherhood means to each of us. Then I played a "tribute" on my native american flute (i just got at the farmer's market a month or so ago--which I love and feel like a little flute player, though not amazing at it yet).

After that we picked a rock from the basket and wrote something on it to remind us of motherhood that we can place in our room after baby comes. I wrote "beautiful" and "honor" on mine, to remember to 1. find the beauty in each moment of this pregnancy and birth and to 2. honor the experience of giving birth and becoming a mother once again to a new little soul. :)

Then we did henna painting and such (on the belly or wrist or ankle)...just for fun. And continued chatting forever. In fact, we talked about placentas and how they are loaded with all the mother's nutritional needs to baby and how people encapsulate them so they can take the capsules to better re-adjust to life and a normal body after baby.

Totally look like a Hippie, huh?!
BTW, did I mention I love my hand-carved flute?

Did you know many animal mothers actually eat their placenta after giving birth?
And that the placenta is actually kind of part of the endocrine system--loaded with beneficial hormones to help regulate your body (not to mention all the vitamins and minerals)?

Yeah...so, having your placenta in a usable form is great for moms who feel they need that. I always thought it sounded gross, but just recently feel that it would be so helpful for my body.
Particularly those who are anemic, or who feel depleted in hormones (deal with post-partum stress). And you can also get a tincture of your placenta so you can just use the drops (they last forever). Other people just bury their placenta in their yard near a tree or something to help provide boosted nutrients to the soils and plants. (That's awesome, but I'd rather have them back in me...since I know I was totally depleted after Rynelle and imagine this one will take even more from my totally iron-deficient body).

So...at the end we each took a candle home to light when us pregnant mam's are in labor. But it was just a great little girl's night with close friends. And who doesn't love that.

Anyway, this all may sound a little hippy-ish, no doubt, but I loved it. And I feel it's especially great now that I'm on my third child and don't want to feel like giving birth is "just another typical experience". I wanted it to feel like a new experience all over again. And it did. And it was and is special. Life is special and motherhood is too.

What a blessing: My Blessing Way.
Thank You Rachel.


----------Emily Erickson's Poem---------------
For the Mother to be...
Nine months in waiting, eternity more,
breath finally washes this new life ashore.
From wrapped in my womb, to wrapped in my arms.
Stronger than pulses my love ever warms.
Seen cords that bound us are soon to become 
the unseen affections this new life has won.
Moment of life waking awe steals my breath,
and gives it for you past the days of my death.
May you breathe well with me day after day,
and learn with me, meekly, the life-living way.
Thank you for living, for breathing this gift.
I'll treasure it always, long after I've lived.

General Conference Family Center Board

It's Conference time! And what a great time to build in family traditions! I know there are tons for various people. Although we haven't started any of our own yet. Until now....

So after seeing General Conference Center Boards on Pinterest so much, I was so happy to finally sit down and create one my own way, jumping off from great templates others had used. I sat down and thought about the purpose behind having one and why. I'm super visual, so I love this idea of having a central area of focus along with the other stuff we do. 

Here's a at-a-glance version of the GC board...that I will explain. But basically there are three panels:

One for Gospel principles to listen for and be aware of.

The middle for current leadership (to update as needed) and current session happenings.

The right panel for review.

overview of the board

Middle of board with current leadership

Prophet and counselors with 12 Apostles

Pres. of 70 on top, with each Auxilliary below: men and women

Left panel: Gospel principles organized into the basic Preach My Gospel Outline breakdown. This makes the principles easy to find and organized so kids can inherently learn the PMG lessons as they grow up too. This will help them better learn and teach the principles in a good order that makes sense. And you can adapt which principles you put on there (only a few for little kids, so not as to overwhelm them with too many pictures). This photo shows all of them on the board, but I think for Ethan, since he's only 4 I will just focus on 4 per lesson and christlike attributes...or something like that.

Main 3 Lessons (1-3), commandments and laws (lessons 4-5),
Christlike Attributes (Chapter 6), and "Other"

Close up--lesson 1: Restoration (there are ~5-8 principles/lesson)

I copied an idea of the family couch photo for the current session.
NO, I don't own that couch, but a yellow couch sure sounds fun!

Place speaker photo and principle symbols here during the talk

This is the right panel: for review of each session (to add speaker photos too, so we know who still hasn't spoken and who has). 

area for each session

The purpose of review to to help kids apply GC to their lives.
So I added a family question spot where we can answer something
we want to work on in the two greatest areas/commandments
(love God and love others). For Dry Erase marker.

Paul made me pose--matted hat hair and all.

This is a little overkill for Ethan at the moment, but this will be the same thing we pull out every General Conference as our Family Center. And Ethan will have the coloring pages and Bingo, etc. to keep him occupied most of the time. But it will be fun to use it more and more as he gets older. He already mentioned tonight that he wants it to be GC tonight so he can look at the board.

And the cool thing is that we can take the principles and photos off and use them for other games or FHE stuff because I just covered them in the sticker lamination stuff and taped them to the board (that has the sticker lamination stuff over all the main areas too). We may go through lots of tape and eventually upgrade to velcro or something, but for now I liek this and it's versatility.

Noise: Being Still

I remember my last transfer on my mission quite clearly. It left a distinct impression on me that still remains. I felt quite clearly the words in my mind and heart to "be Still." As the transfer unfolded I found I was being taught what that phrase meant...specifically in letting go of things I didn't need to control.

Sometimes in life we worry too much about unnecessary things. Our minds become cluttered and we can get overwhelmed. This is not the way of peace. 

I love the scripture in 2 Timothy 1:7...

"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; 

but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

Is our mind sound?
Is our heart full of love?
Do we feel that power, or confidence?

If not, I suggest having greater faith in God's promise of that love. But how do we do that? Let go.

When we don't feel peace there is a reason. And no, it doesn't mean we are bad or have dome something wrong, persay. However....there is something in our life that we can choose to let go of. And what that is we may not always consciously know. But other times we do know and may just be holding on to because of fear or comfort in Our situation or various other reasons. Whatever the case, prayer will help.

I love the scripture Ether 12:27. I read it this morning and decided to visually represent it so it had more meaning to me. I will post it later if I get to digitally recreating it. But here is the verse:

And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.

If we choose....and that is IF...
He will give us grace and peace to let go of things that don't matter and that take away from our peace. Because the Savior is the bringer of peace, not of confusion.  

So with that, I'd like to clarify what some of the voices are that we hear in our life, so as to make distinguishing God's voice and direction in our life a little more clear.

There are three types of voices that add to the noise in our head. (As if sometimes music and buzzing electronics wasn't enough! :) 

Satans Thoughts

These are negative thoughts and typically begin with "you." Ex: "You can't do this." These are loud and persistent and tend to depress and take away from our hope, peace and love for ourselves and others.

Your Thoughts

These typically are "I" statements and sometimes may feel hard to distinguish between your and satans, because as you give heed to negative voices you begin to adopt them and they then can become your thoughts. Which is why we have to recognize them and write them down so we can correct those false thoughts and beliefs.

The Spirit

These are generally quiet and peaceful and don't hang around too long if you ignore them. They frequently take more the form of a gentle or powerful calm command. Ex: "Be still." And the more you can eliminate the other louder voices, the easier this voice is to distinguish. I enjoyed the book Hearing the Voice of The Lord, by Gerald Lund to better understand different ways we receive and can notice the voice of the spirit. 

I would encourage those who want to better develop this clarity of voices to do a few things:

1. Work on negative thoughts. I'd start with maybe a little black book to write negative thoughts down in, so you can be aware of your thought patterns. When you hear negative thoughts in your head, write them down (I'd also mention if you are being negative, critical or mean...those also stem from negative thoughts, so I'd pause to see where the problem may be there too). Over time you can see where your mental energies are focused and then can sort through the rubbish and false beliefs and turn them around into true statements, one statement at a time (don't overwhelm yourself and try to work at all simultaneously). I like to find scriptural truths and promises that counteract the negative beliefs, that I can place greater faith in that the negative thoughts, and work on the most negative one first.

2. Study the scriptures. I love 2 Nephi 31:20 which says to press forward with a steadfastness in 

Christ....feasting on his word. The scriptures are truths and we can't dig ourselves out of negative beliefs merely by relying on positive affirmations about ourselves. The true source of empowerment isn't an isolated "I" statement, but rather a "I AM" statement, grounded in scriptural truth and the love of our Savior. Turn to his promises and pray for help finding a statement specifically for you and your need.

3. Turn off irrelevant noise. Turn off incessant noises that do add to the peace and clarity. Constantly having loud music on can clutter the mind. Instead, perhaps turn on some soothing music or uplifting music to encourage positive thoughts and stillness. The environments create and surround ourselves in can have a great impact on the "clutter" of our brain, for better or for worse. 

4. Write in your journal. Record your thoughts and feelings regularly so you can be aware of yourselves and emotions and gods hand in your life. As you do this you can better gauge where you are and better live in the present. Even if it is just writing three things you are grateful for each evening before bed. Little steps. 

5. Pray for help. I enjoyed reading a little book last week called As a Man Thinketh, by James Allen. In it, he talks about the power of our thoughts as the creating force of our life. If you aren't pleased with your life, start working on your thoughts and turning me over to Heavenly Father through prayer and conscious choice to replace negative thoughts. Our thoughts become our beliefs, which become our actions. If you are acting in a way you don't want, it starts with your thoughts. Take responsibility for your thoughts and actions (don't blame others).

----
Last thought: I woke up this morning thinking about the story of Elijah as I listened to the howling wind that actually sounded like words of the wind. So I wrote a little poem:

NOISE

Words: blowing by...

(But He wasn't in the wind)

Feelings: shaking and quaking...

(But He wasn't in the earthquake)

Thoughts: as burning flames...

(But He wasn't in the fire)

And after the fire, stillness.

A voice: His still small voice.

Listen. Listen.

"Be Still."

-------

How to: Live in the Moment

Here is a summary of an interesting short article i read.....

----------

How often have you eaten a meal and not really tasted it, or completed a chore or drove to work without really thinking about it?

Our days often pass us by while our minds are elsewhere.

No one actually lives in the moment all the time — I don’t think it’s possible. Some, with practice, can learn to live in the moment for longer than most of us, but there will always be times when you’re worried about the future or thinking about the past, and forget to be in the moment.

It’s actually pretty hard, if you give it a try. Test it out right now: close your eyes (after reading these instructions first), and concentrate on your breathing — the sensation of the air as it enters your nose or mouth and fills your lungs, and as it goes out again. If other thoughts come up, be aware of them, acknowledge them, let them go (but don’t try to force them away) and then return your focus to your breathing.

It’s hard, isn’t it? Being in the moment isn’t as easy as it sounds.

It takes practice. But it can be achieved at times. To help inspire you to live in the moment, here are 5 great examples:

1. Children. There’s no one better at being present than a child. I love to watch my three-year-old son, Seth, as he plays. He’s not thinking about what happened to him yesterday, or what he’s going to do later today. He’s Spiderman, and he’s fighting the bad guys, and nothing else in the world exists. If he gets mad about something, he overreacts, and nothing else in the world matters but what has upset him. But he’ll cry about it, and then soon return to normal, happy again, the offending situation forgotten without a grudge. He has no cares about tomorrow, and for that, I love to watch him. We need to use children as inspiration, and try to be like them sometimes. Jesus instructed us, “Be as a child,” and those were wise words.
2. Cats. I also like watching my cat, Riddle. He thinks he’s a lion. He’ll stealthily stalk an insect or lizard, as if he’s hidden in tall grass on the savanna, and then he pounces and attacks. You know he’s not thinking about what he had for breakfast or what furniture needs to be clawed to shreds later in the day. Cats (and other animals) are all about the Now. Be like a cat.
3. My wife and dessert. My wife Eva really knows how to eat dessert. Actually, of all the people I know, she may be the best at being in the moment, completely. She can really enjoy something, with all of her being. I’ve learned how to eat dessert by watching her — while I tend to gobble something quickly, Eva closes her eyes, and slowly puts a spoon of ice cream in her mouth. She savors the flavor, the texture, the coolness, the sweetness, the chocolateness of it. Eva enjoys things more than most human beings, and she inspires me. The next time you eat something, try not to think about anything else, not to read, not to talk to someone — just experience the food.
4. Zen sweeper. It’s been said that the only two jobs of a Zen monk are sitting zazen (meditation) and sweeping. Cleaning is one of the daily rituals of a Zen monk, one of their most important daily practices. They sweep or rake, and they try to do nothing else. They aren’t thinking about being in a Zen state — the Zen state is the sweeping. The next time you’re doing housework (or anything, really), try concentrating on the housework, on the dust, on the motion, on the sensation. See this interesting article for more on this.
5. Yourself, lost in something. You’ve been in the moment plenty of times. Can you remember a time when you lost yourself in a task? Not lost in thought, but lost in the doing of the task itself — you were concentrating fully, you thought of nothing else. The world disappeared. It might have been work — you might have achieved that state of mind known as “flow” — or it could have been a hobby, playing sports, yardwork, fixing something, anything. Try to remember a time like that, and replicate it.

Article from http://zenhabits.net/5-inspirations-for-being-in-the-moment/